I was the girl
in the boy
on horse
photo framed and hung
on a merry-go-round
building wall.

It was a time
for flip flops;
long checkered pants;
short-sleeved, tie-dyed tees
made from stitched
or stenciled resists.

I fell
in love with a boy
who proclaimed
the world is my ashtray.

Fell harder
for a boy who sang
about ashtray floors and Jesus
never buying any smokes.

Then I fell
for my own
flame. Why
didn’t I resist?

Now that the smoke and fog
have cleared,
I can see how
a childhood fear of fire
might lead to this
clash happy life.