October Grief

Dust in a machine,
overheated thoughts trigger
emergency shutdowns. Zigzag

is not a place. This is
the only place
where rain comes in threads

that won’t dissolve
the glue she uses
to hold what’s left

of her together.

High Hat Wind

Moan or whistle, skyway
window panes are walls
of response to the lowest

air pressure to hit the state
in recorded history. Loss
of power isn’t the same

as how we become powerless
to stop weather patterns
of obsession from registering

overhead—constricting within.

Epitaph in Ashes

For Steve

Because there would be
no next time
around, she chooses to listen

to Nick Drake, Sandy Denny, Joy
Division the way he would have wished
if he still could.

Shall We Dance?

For Steve and Colin

We three who sit in a tattered, sprung black
booth on the non-music side
ask

ourselves this. The confusion—
liver or lives, ecstasy
from a handful of pills or arms

dropping
from an invisible burden. It would kill
off two, would leave

the third alone

to hold the hollows
of an answer together
with her own hug

she wraps around herself.

A Seasonal Man

For Steve

A spring rain
essence hangs in the air
on a Saturday morning
in October, triggers memories

of any season
up for grabs. We hunt for rats
in the NYC subway,
on its streets, behind

its garbage bins
in alleys. Summer in the City
always makes a statement
to the nose. Bad

puns and monotony
breaking drinks to keep us
warm on a Minnesota winter
night. I came unprepared. You

had no idea what you were
getting yourself into—out of.
On the west bank
of the Saint Croix,

we read through
all I had written
come spring. It came
so violently, I almost faded

dead away
by my own hand. Was it yours
that crossed out

the almost

18 years later—the slow
desperation of a soul dying
to be free.

Arrogant Cocoon

If she saw what touched
those streets, these steps
she rarely takes, that railing,
she wouldn’t leave her own
skin, wouldn’t believe
in the imagination
and its relatives, would
simply wrap herself up
till it rained.

No Anodyne

Another symptom—repetition—
a narrative loop
you thought was only running
in your head leaks

out. The sound is a drone,
explosion, premonition, reaper
grim about the mouth.

Day 2,901

No mapping
exercise, no
diapason, geometric
shape speaking to me
while I sleep

will bring him back. No
longer in medias res, he
took the wrong detour
and never recovered
his footing.

Georgia One Revisited

To confuse sense
of place with your lap, accidental

falls with the truth
as it comes out when

I’m asleep is to reenter
those dreams I forget.

Sculpture Garden

I see a rainbow reflection on the cherry
spoon of its own making—fountain’s
mist. Sun’s been shining
all day. And I know
I can break
my own heart.