Grime Writing

I try to walk a mile on a boardwalk
in your shoes. Trip on your laces.
See your life flash before me. Details of mine
get scrubbed off a stucco wall.

moving moving parental divorce
moving moving starve date rape
moving moving miscarriage obsession
moving addiction overdose on purpose
moving stabilize common law divorce
slipping obligate ram ventilator

about to pause aka slow suicide relief
traveling scarred terrified still moving

I can’t describe what I see of yours.
It’s not my place.
Where is my place?
Help me find my place.

I live in a building
made of saudade and duende
at the bottom
of a concrete hill. Help me

celebrate reverse
graffiti where it belongs.

What’s left. Just a washed-out, deep
female voice that cracks
in the urban wilderness
after a late night rain.

I have leaned over
the flickering flame of your thinking
candle. Am singed without regret.
Help me find mine.

Let Us Go Then

Objects:
Our dead friend
moves our limbs, our mouths,
our lids, our hearts.
Marionettes and
so much more.
He releases our strings
simultaneously. Knows
it’s futile to fight the laws
of physics
even from his side.

Subjects:
Despite the forecast,
rain begins to slap
awake an etherized sky.
Our skin protects
those young spies
dressed in our eyes
testing our voices
as they prepare
to go.

You and I—
none of anyone else’s
goddamn business.
Never mind the mermaids,
we’ve gotten so far
beyond the bath.

Note: partially inspired by T.S. Eliot’s “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”

Chronic & Cathartic

A nonstop flight
to the central dead
letter office. No unnecessary
sentimental greetings
outside security. No wait
at the airport tram

station.

No line when she arrives.
An easy drop
into the maw
of a gigantic shredder.
Bits of bile-singed pulp
get spit out.

Dross, even slag,
to be recycled
into her next
line-breaking monster.

Robotic

She hears a talking crosswalk sign
in her head, stuck on
| wait | wait | wait |
never getting permission to walk
she will do it anyway
eventually the robot
dies from brutality or neglect

Too Late to Shake Hands with the Unlicensed

When the sun rises, first
where you are,
then an hour later
outside my apartment window,

we can see the flames
of a billion candles
inside each moment
if we resist the urge

to swipe our fingers
through the tips. Just for kicks
the way we did
when we were too young

to believe in death.
I am the governess

of my feelings. You, yours.
A bigger fire begins
to burn through the day
into night. Some liar’s pit

on a hill behind a school.
We could be tossing in
all kinds of combustibles.
My governess lets me

stay out all night now,
no questions asked.

It all hinges
on that first kiss—
the one that already happened,
plotted out a billion years ago.

Not one locked gate,
milk chute for crawling through,
car ignition. Not
a single regret.

Lemniscate

Hey, summer solstice,
almost winter solstice here.
We call across an overlapping ribbon
to one another. No echo. No stanza.
No station necessary
in this endless ride. Everything
so perfectly compacted into
longest day shortest night longest night shortest day
stretching every fiber, nerve, strand.
Here we are two specks of gold
glitter stuck to a loop. A pattern
on an ancient sea turtle’s shell. Left earlobe
of a giant with wine-flavored tattoos.
We can’t take our eyes off the horizon
till the inner ear balances. Till vertigo
becomes the rippled gown of Veritas.
We are so broken into imperfect shards
of stained glass, so beyond trick photography
in this crazy 8 ball shaken down world.

Latitude Longitude Lies

I have hidden
my big dripping heart
in a secret place. It hangs
from a rack
out of reach.

I believe no one—
not even you—
knows where. I am
so wrong. You’ve passed
by the site

so many times
over decades and degrees.

Never thought to look
till now. It was so easy
for you to find.

Affixed to that thing

all this time.
To what? Where? There.
A number. A symbol.
A geography without coordinates,
my love.