First Definition: Compensation paid for saving a ship or its cargo from the perils of the sea, or for the lives and property rescued in a wreck.  

I promised my younger self
(or is it my younger self
who promised me) I would forget 

you. I would not record
the scent of your hair
close shaven on your neck and scalp. 

I would not try to score
the boom of your voice
into my soundtrack loop for sleeping. 

I would not wait
for you on the pier
where everyone waits 

for their next drink,
or receipt for the next purchase
in any of those too numerous chain boutiques. 

I promised everyone but myself (at any age)
I would never speak your name out loud, or whisper it
into the hollows 

of trees or dead
birds’ eyes. I keep
my mouth shut. But I can’t resist 

what I see
on the sidewalk—never to know how the black
bird ended up in that position. Into its mystery, I press 

the harsh consonant and arrogant single
syllable of your name—let it stick, let it stick.