How To Get Here

If this moment respects
its elders, if I honor
the memory of a lover’s laugh,
silence, topography
of an old acrylic seascape painting
gently against my fingertips— 

if 

I could be so expansive
with what’s left inside—broken,
scarred, intact—I might begin
to understand how to drop 

this word
nostalgia 

on its head and see
it shake itself free
of the mockery
and disapproving stares. I could 

touch it without leaving
a smudge.

Another Siren

awakens her to stories she wishes
she didn’t have to tell, she wishes
she could tell 

apart from nightmares she rarely remembers. So afraid
of fire, she wouldn’t light a match
till the pyromania years were long 

done, till the Bunsen burner’s true blue
flame was out of her life
for good. She believes there is no such thing 

as friendly fire. In 1970, a spectacular one burned
the Caryl School to the ground. A stubborn, wind-whipped blaze
six town fire departments couldn’t slay. Falling slate, flying 

glass, then the roof caved in. That same year,
she found floral ceramic remains
scarring a sand lot with vacancy 

when she stood on the footprint of a stranger’s house
of ash a half mile up the shoreline
from her grandparents’ cottage 

before the land bends
over itself toward East Chop light.
It took years for her to bury 

the terror that fires are contagious,
that they will eventually reach the porch,
that they will erase 

the place where she lived
more consistently than any other
till she turned 12. At 26, before she began 

to smoke, she was smoked out
of another home when roofers torched
a cardinal’s nest wedged in a gutter. 

Odds are most people have a fire
story to tell. These are hers. Those,
her father for one, who saw 

the towers come scorching
down carry
the weight of surviving
wherever they choose
to live. She can’t help 

but become impatient, wanting
to sing. And this is how she becomes her own siren—
persistent and contagious, 

calling to reclaim
a loss she didn’t know
she had to lose: 

My father, my city, rescue them, rescue this,
whether or not I know what it is
that is mine, this is mine.

Strangers on a Train

She keeps counting without remembering
what she’s counting.
Looking at her cell phone, is it 

time? Station after station, I count too.
And I get tired, but I know
I must keep going—bricks in phased crumble, 

seconds waiting for a light
to change before I can walk again.
Yes, I count too, 

beside her on the train
rolling away—a rhythm
for both of us in our strangeness. 

The numbers will be the last
to go—my inheritance—cities, square
feet, jobs, books, CD’s, mothers, lovers, little 

deaths. We are nothing
to one another but accidental
companions on the way 

to an airport—I despise this
journey where I don’t get to stay
on till the end: 

Pennsylvania Station, New York City.
No, I’m getting off
at Newark International to return 

to snow in May. What about her? I wonder
what she’s counting on
at the other end.

So Utter

Sorrow as a second language,
spoken there, taught here, she comes
to get her education, to give back
all she has. It’s yours, 

if you can use it. She asks
questions no one questions—
answers upon answers erased
from the black board 

so she can breathe. Some will cry,
some will laugh, some will
die in this place where she comes
to believe in a broken tongue.

No Rote

Entangled in a net of no one
to blame’s making, I forget
what I said yesterday 

about this pier and its hurricane
scars. About to begin
another plunge into dense 

deconstructions
of choppy water. About to listen
for those dirges we prepared, buried 

in this sand before I began 

to follow musicians around with this
spill—I don’t forget theirs,
they come ashore with ease.

These Old Repressed Gargoyles

No position to be in, vertebrate
lips stick together standing
up. Does the female possess 

the male, or does he just swim
upside down? That damned secretion is used 

for balance. Incapable of flight—
two hundred eggs still 

to be transferred. If only
propulsion ended here. 

(found poem from Science Is Fiction: The Films of Jean Painlevé, edited by Andy Masaki Bellows and Marina McDougall with Brigitte Berg)

True Urban North

Another bundle up surprise
to dodge the moaning
bulk of one sanitation
truck in fall snow sputter 

and mount is too soon, is to
become extinct not soon enough.

Today’s Delivery

Song crosses a bridge
wood-cut, film is
cabin built and framed 

inside a postage stamp
she would be afraid to use
unless she were to write 

you a letter for
wallpapering another dead 

letter office.  We all live
there at some point
on the span we cross, 

oblivious and blinded by the crashing
irony of an ocean
called peace.